Little kids don't dance, they jump up and down. Ones that can dance, turn into Usher. 23 hours ago
Literally every band that plays at the bar I work at plays a crappy cover of waiting in vain. Never the same since hexum's cover at 311 day. 1 day ago
@Wegmans twice in the past week i've bought 2-lb pack of FROZEN "fresh never frozen" boneless chicken breasts from Mt Laurel NJ store- grrr! 2 days ago
It doesn't matter that I don't make a lot of money anymore. I'm happy with what I'm doing. 3 days ago
“How do we inspire greatness?” We beat the Redskins 59-28 in Washington, score 6 total TDs, post the highest MNF score ever, score more points in a first quarter away from home ever, put up 50-some fantasy points, throw your longest TD of your career on the first play of the game, set a franchise best 45 first half points, hold the record for being the only QB to throw 300+ yds, run 50+ yds, score 6 TDs, etc… You get the idea? Even after missing 3 weeks, he HAS to be the leading candidate for league MVP plus the guy hasn’t even throw and INT or lost a fumble this season. Not too shabby for a guy who was never known for his accuracy or as a pocket passer. Oh wait, McNabb got a $78-million contract extension before the game…. HAHAHAHA
Kudos to Coach Andy, OC Marty Mornhinweg, QB coach James Urban, and owner Jeffrey Lurie for giving him a chance to play football for the Eagles. If anyone knows how to get the best out of a QB (see: Koy Detmer, Jeff Garcia, Kevin Kolb, Donovan McNabb, Mike McMahon) its this staff. Its a good day in football land and this is the time of the year when the Eagles really turn it on. So look out Giants and Cowboys, we’re coming for you next. Now if we can just lift that Lombardi Trophy at the end of the season..
Oh boy, I feel like its the day before Christmas. Football season officially kicks off tomorrow night and I cannot wait, its my favorite time of the year. If you do not know about my gripe with the “voice of the Philadelphia sports fan”–please see my older posts. This is just an extension of said rant.. so hear goes!
Doucheturd’s official prediction for the Eagles 2010 campaign: 9-7. That’s quite an optimistic prediction from the son of Satan. “Kolb will be fine — better than Donovan McNabb”. I LOLed on the train at that one. No surprises there.
He also claims that Andy Reid “hasn’t positioned his Eagles to exploit a soft, early schedule and he hasn’t developed an offensive line worthy of the talent surrounding it.” That still remains to be seen. With Stacy Andrews worthless ass being shipped to Seattle for a box of crackerjacks and a ham sandwich, I think the O-line is actually in good shape to protect Kolb and open some decent holes for Shady. The Andrews brothers were a $75 million dollar cancer that has finally been purged from our team.
Two question marks on the O-line. The play of LT Jason Peters* who had a sloppy season last year (and not to mention gets at least 2 holds a game in Madden’11), and how moving Nick Cole* to RG will play out with the addition of Reggie Wells* who we picked up last week. Otherwise, it looks like Todd Herremans* and Jamaal Jackson* should shore things up on the inside, provided that they are indeed healthy again. I have nothing but good hopes for RT Winston Justice* who has much improved over the years as well.
(*= indicates that doucheturd labeled them as a “worrisome….hodgepodge of mediocrities”.. and that they all “stink”) — For the Record.
Doucheturd then goes on to bitch about how we didn’t play our starters in the last pre-season game, leaving our players vulnerable to weaker teams earlier in the first half of the season (Detroit, Jacksonville, Washington, SF, and Tennessee). Yeah… like that matters. We’ll see how that plays out. Doucheturd predicts 9 victories, and another trip to the playoffs…barely.
Enough of doucher.. My prediction? 12-4. I’m thinking its going to be more-feared than last season’s 11-5 campaign, because the team is much different without McNabb and a young group of players. Solid season from Kolb, a few bumps in the road, but a we will win the games that we are supposed to win and cruise into the playoffs.
So stay tuned football fans — kickoff is right around the corner and I, for one, cannot wait!! Hey doucheturd: I’m gunning for the right to call myself “the voice of the REAL Philadelphia sports fan”. You don’t deserve it! Good Day!
I haven’t updated in awhile, but it was inevitable. So, I usually grab a copy of the Metro before hopping on the train in the morning–for those of you unfamiliar with the Metro, its Philadelphia’s free morning newspaper, written for a 3rd grade reading level, and designed for people with the attention span of a goldfish (yes I just Googled that).
Generally, the Metro is spell-checked/fact-checked by an editing team consisting of an incessant preteen YouTube commenter, a D- college student who didn’t have time to check for errors because he had a really important quest in World of Warcraft, and possibly an aging monkey of some sorts. My point is that if you are writing for a free newspaper, you most likely weren’t good enough to be commissioned by a real newspaper and that was your last resort.
Which brings me to what I really want to talk about this morning. Philadelphia’s WORST sports writer/morning radio host–Angelo Cataldi. Once again, if you are not familiar with this decrepit, wrinkly-faced, Philly loudmouth– he has the uncanny ability to find something bad in even the most ideal situations. This guy talked more shit on the Phillies in 2008…for example:
Deeeeeeuurrrppppp
“Now that the fantasies of spring training have been left behind in Clearwater, can we all finally deal with a cold dose of reality here? The Phillies are not going to win a World Series in 2008. They are not going to suc ces sfully defend their improbable division title. They are probably not even going to make the playoffs.
The sports fans of this city deserve a parade down Broad Street, but this is definitely not the team that will break our quarter-century drought. This is a team that will break our hearts.”
For those of you living under a rock, the Phillies WON the World Series in 2008. Even after the Phils won, this guy claims it was because they were facing a weak opponent (umm hello the Rays beat the fucking Red Sox in a grueling 7-game ALCS). See where I’m coming from?
What pissed me off the most about Cataldi..wait, from now on I’m just going to refer to him as “doucheturd” (no capitalization, he doesn’t deserve it).. doucheturd NEVER gets behind his team, head coaches, quarterbacks, or even gives credit to the greatest comeback in the history of sports. Seriously, this guy was on WIP the morning before game 7 of the Flyers vs Bruins saying how the Flyers were lucky to have gotten to that point, lucky to have come back from being down 3-0 in the series, Coach Laviolette was completely outmatched/outcoached, and that the Flyers would come back to Philly with their tail between their legs. Check out the box score… or for that fact here:
Yet, people like this are still able to keep their jobs. I’m not in support of “company men” by any means. There are plenty of beat writers who kiss ass constantly. But honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever heard doucheturd give credit where credit is due, or retract a bogus statement…EVER. As if the above examples weren’t enough, there has been no person–not even Rush Limbaugh–more critical of Donovan McNabb and the Andy Reid era than doucheturd. Admittingly, I was always a McNabb sympathizer–why? Because there was no QB-Coach duo who was more successful over the past decade than Reid/McNabb. I understand we never won a Super Bowl (believe me) but this guy made Rush look like a schoolgirl compared to the shit coming out of this steaming pile of turd’s mouth over the past decade.
As usual, I digress. This mornings article was a sloppily written rant about how Charlie Manuel and Andy Reid are idiots and don’t know basic coaching strategy.. really doucheturd? Let’s give you the fucking clipboard and see why you are an AMATEUR D-level writer (at best) and not a coach of a PROFESSIONAL sports team. Let’s find a way to not support the Phillies even though they are leading the NL Wild Card race (as of today), let’s find a way to say Brad Lidge still sucks, let me find a way to toss my baseless opinion into the ring without actually watching a game. I can’t wait for football season to start so he can start throwing Reid under the bus again–and poor Kolb, he won’t have a chance. That’s all for now, folks.
